It takes 1 tiny shift in perspective to be happy stepmom.
Think less like a renter, or more like a longterm investor.
The Renter Stepmom:
You might be a renter stepmom if you:
1. Show frustration when his Ex sends the kids over during her time.
You had things you wanted to do. Child free, I’m sure.
It’s human to feel frustration with the unexpected, and being the victim of someone else’s choices.
If you look down you’ll see a child short in stature, but s/he’s the biggest victim of us all. And your stepchild can tell when she’s not wanted.
2. Send your stepkids to BM’s dressed in clothing that’s too smallor poor quality.
Because that’s what the Ex sent them over in.
You’re fed up with the Ex keeping the expensive clothes you buy for them, and this is how you stop that.
3. Get angry with having to pay for something BM should be paying for.
You and your husband already pay a lot to the Ex, and she isn’t spending it the way you would expect her to.
You’re tired of being taken advantage of. I get it.
Unfortunately, this perspective feeds resentment.
Do you want to be happy? I want you to be happy.
Get happy by thinking like a longterm investor in your stepchildren.
You might be a longterm investor Stepmom if you:
1. Recognize your home is just as much your stepchild’s home, regardless of his/her visitation schedule.
Just as you can come and go as you see fit, you offer the same freedom to your stepchild.
2. Prioritize your child’s comfort and self-esteem, even if it means letting the Ex “win”.
You send them over in quality clothing that fits properly, because you care more about your stepchild’s wellbeing than you do about the Ex’s antics.
To save money, you can buy clothing through 2nd hand stores, craigslist, ebay or the goodwill.
3. You recognize child support is the “Divorce With Kids” Tax.
Just like the US tax system, some people pay too little, some pay too much.
Happy stepmoms give it the same attention she gives to a mandatory tax.
When you become a long-term investor in your stepchildren, everything gets easier.
Instead of seeing yourself as a victim, you’ll see yourself as powerful woman doing what’s best for her children.