7 ways Stepmoms can singlehandedly improve their marriage

With the astronomical divorce rate of 2nd marriages, we need a box full of tools to divorce proof our marriage.

When we feel we’re at risk, many of us consider marriage counseling. Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to get buy-in from our spouse. Even when both partners agree to marriage counseling, the long term success rates for traditional marriage therapy are disappointingly low.

Don’t you fret. It may take 2 to have a good marriage, but it only takes 1 to improve a marriage.

With these 7 research backed strategies, YOU can singlehandedly improve your marriage today.

 

7 simple actions to singlehandedly improve your marriage. Written by Sue Howard @StepfamiliyLifeline.com

 

#1. Meet your basic physical needs.

* Insufficient sleep causes stress. Good sleep improves your mood.

* Omega 3 (fish oil) is shown to reduce pessimism and sadness by 50%.

* Learn to say no (think you already know how to? 91% of Stepmoms don’t. Take the test.)

 

#2. Stop personalizing their words.

* When someone judges you, they’re telling you they fear they’re not good enough. Not you.

* It is never about you. Everyone is too busy thinking about themselves to worry about you.

 

#3 . Stop blaming.

* Everyone’s first instinct is to blame others.

* Be evolved. Follow up by taking responsibility.

 

#4. Do something new together.

* When we have fun, we associate our joy with the person we did it with.

* Doing new activities together will rekindle the love you felt in the beginning

 

#5. Reduce emotional demands on spouse.

* One person cannot meet your every need.

* Connect with friends & family to spread the demand across a larger group.

 

#6. Express Gratitude

* Feeling grateful increases dopamine, the same way an anti-depressant does.

* Expressing gratitude prompts others to seek further connection with you.

 

#7. Share this post, and then have sex with your partner.

* Regular sex increase patience and decreases anger.

* Enjoyment from sex 3 times a week has been show to make us look 7 years younger.

 


 

Sources (these are NOT affiliate links):
#1: “Rewire Your Brain: Think Your Way to a Better Life” by Dr. John B. Arden
#2,3: “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Dr. Brené Brown (link is to incredible video, book can be found here.
#4: “For Better: How the Surprising Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed” by Tara Parker-Pope
#5: Common sense
#6: “The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time” by Alex Korb, PhD
#7: “Secrets of the Superyoung” by Dr. David Weeks

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