With the astronomical divorce rate of 2nd marriages, we need a box full of tools to divorce proof our marriage.
When we feel we’re at risk, many of us consider marriage counseling. Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to get buy-in from our spouse. Even when both partners agree to marriage counseling, the long term success rates for traditional marriage therapy are disappointingly low.
Don’t you fret. It may take 2 to have a good marriage, but it only takes 1 to improve a marriage.
With these 7 research backed strategies, YOU can singlehandedly improve your marriage today.
#1. Meet your basic physical needs.
* Insufficient sleep causes stress. Good sleep improves your mood.
* Omega 3 (fish oil) is shown to reduce pessimism and sadness by 50%.
* Learn to say no (think you already know how to? 91% of Stepmoms don’t. Take the test.)
#2. Stop personalizing their words.
* When someone judges you, they’re telling you they fear they’re not good enough. Not you.
* It is never about you. Everyone is too busy thinking about themselves to worry about you.
#3 . Stop blaming.
* Everyone’s first instinct is to blame others.
* Be evolved. Follow up by taking responsibility.
#4. Do something new together.
* When we have fun, we associate our joy with the person we did it with.
* Doing new activities together will rekindle the love you felt in the beginning
#5. Reduce emotional demands on spouse.
* One person cannot meet your every need.
* Connect with friends & family to spread the demand across a larger group.
#6. Express Gratitude
* Feeling grateful increases dopamine, the same way an anti-depressant does.
* Expressing gratitude prompts others to seek further connection with you.
#7. Share this post, and then have sex with your partner.
* Regular sex increase patience and decreases anger.
* Enjoyment from sex 3 times a week has been show to make us look 7 years younger.
Sources (these are NOT affiliate links):
#1: “Rewire Your Brain: Think Your Way to a Better Life” by Dr. John B. Arden
#2,3: “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Dr. Brené Brown (link is to incredible video, book can be found here.
#4: “For Better: How the Surprising Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed” by Tara Parker-Pope
#5: Common sense
#6: “The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time” by Alex Korb, PhD
#7: “Secrets of the Superyoung” by Dr. David Weeks