On occasion, something I say upsets a client. I know this going into it, but my job is to make your life easier as a Stepmom, not to support existing beliefs that aren’t serving you well. The following is shared with permission.
Recently, a client was upset that BM insisted her kids stop calling my client “Mom”. My client is mothering the children, and BM does not have an active role in her children’s day to day life. For this reason, my client thought she should be called Mom.
She was upset when I shared a different perspective. No matter how involved we are in the caring and feeding of a child, it doesn’t change biology.
I think the desire to be called “mom” stems from a mis-conception that Stepmoms are less important than moms.
A good stepmom makes a world of difference in a child’s life. Especially to a child who’s had to deal with the loss that so often comes from divorce.
The stepmom-stepchild relationship is unique and unlike any other, just as the mother-child relationship is unique. Both relationships can be an incredible gift to our children.
If you value your role as a Stepmom, I think the desire to be called “mom” will dissolve.
I’m honored to be a Stepmom to my children. I work incredibly hard at being the best Stepmom I can be, and calling me “mom” doesn’t do my role justice.
Let yourself be recognized as the Stepmom that you are.